the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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