Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize