So drunk its hurt
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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