He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize