im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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