thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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