Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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