i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
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Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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