He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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