shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize