she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize