we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
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You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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