You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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