Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize