Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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