this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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