And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Randomize