last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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