just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize