So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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