Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
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Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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