3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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