She is in my trunk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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