i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize