He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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