Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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