Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize