I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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