DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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