Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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