i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if only i could text you this smell
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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