Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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