I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize