Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
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I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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