Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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