True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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