Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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