she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize