I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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