I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize