theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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