On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
dude. I can hear the air.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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