I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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