Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize