can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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