my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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