so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize