I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
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time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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