i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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