matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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